Who, What, and Why?

I have felt overwhelmed about a lot of things but at the moment  I’m feeling it more than ever. I’ve just joined a class, Blogging 101, and even though I’ve  been blogging for several months, I’m suddenly totally lost. I’m maneuvering around the site, learning how to do things, trying to remember things, such as copy and paste, which I never can, learning what everything means, and yes, totally lost. Our first assignment, “Who are you and why are you here?” is what I’m called to write on tonight. For those of you that are following me already, this might get boring. You already know bits and pieces.

First of all, I have a hard time saying, “ME,” repeating, “ME, and using, “Me” as my topic. I have no problem placing myself in a poem or a story but to expose myself to others is just plain scary. But, well, here I am.

I’m a wife, a mother, and a grandmother and I’m a seamstress, a jewelry designer, photographer, self-taught veterinarian, a canine foster mom, a chef,  teacher,  gardener,  a collector, carpenter  and an interior designer. I probably shouldn’t leave out, an aspiring artist.  I’ve been a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter and an orphan.  Then, there is me, the writer. I have never had any professional training for any of this. It was all accomplished through hands-on experience and much was learned through  necessity. My most wanted position in life, my chosen career was, “wife and mother.”  Part of my journey getting there took me down a path working as a Dental Assistant and Office Manager. In hind site, that was probably a career I should have stuck with a little longer and learned a little better. It certainly would have helped later in life to have a real profession. That’s water under the bridge, as they say. I became the wife and my greatest accomplishments in my life blossomed in the form of beautiful daughters. They, were my life. I lived and breathed for them. I still do, but now, I have grandchildren too. Grandchildren are gifts. Gifts to be cherished as they are more precious than the most glorious gems on earth. My life took many turns, taking me places I didn’t expect to go, turned me upside down and inside out, dumped me back on my feet,  brought me outstanding, exuberant  joy, and  at times excruciating, almost unbearable pain. But, that’s life, isn’t it.

Now, I can get to why I’m here. Why am I blogging? Why am I opening myself up to the whole world for possible criticism and judgement, maybe even humiliation. This could be rough. It also could be very informative, enlightening, spiritual, and rewarding. I can learn from sharing. I can grow as I help others. I can maybe, help someone else do the same. If I can help even one person in one way or another, I have done good. What makes me think I’m qualified to do that? Experience. Everything I have talked about above comes with experience. Some of it good experiences and some bad but no matter what it was for me, it is now a useful tool for learning and for teaching. What do I want for myself? I want to write better. I want to know more. I write poems but know very little about writing itself. I want to know what kind of  poem is that poem I just spent three days on.  I want to find out more about the person I am. I want to elicit every known emotion in others using just my written word.  I want to be remembered. I’ve written a book of poems and stories. Someday, I’d like to see it published and maybe even have a second edition. That’s a lot of wants isn’t it? I’m at a point in my life where I can focus on myself. I can consider all these wants and actually put energy into making them happen. I also have someone who believes in me and nourishes  me with the first real encouragement I’ve ever received from another person. Someone who likes me and what I am doing. That person is my husband, Steve. He has been my inspiration in this challenge between my inner being, with it’s hands around my throat, begging me to keep everything  inside where it’s always been safe, and my heart , fighting for all it’s worth, saying, “NO, it’s time to let go. It’s time to open up. It’s time to be free.

My writing is at this point is mostly taken from memories and experiences. I’m a simple writer. I don’t use innuendos  and hidden meanings. My poems usually tell a story. I write about feelings. I try to keep a balance between  publishing the sad ones and the happier, lighter ones. As we all know though, life isn’t about balance. It’s about truths and understanding, giving, learning and doing. It’s about progress and failure, good and bad,  adventures into the unknown and realities, about sharing and love. I write about life.

That’ it. The who, what, and why of my blogging. Please let me know what you think. I would appreciate it very much.

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