Archive | April 2017

Gumption

Positive.  Positive outlook. Positive attitude. Positive is something that anyone who knows me would swear on the bible that I am. Everyone who knows me knows that I believe almost anything can be dealt with if you bring a positive attitude into the equation right from the start. Most see me as a happy person, with goals, with spirit, and a loving, generous, soul that would do anything for anyone. I pretty much see myself that way too.
Lately though, the challenges have been plenty. I have shared many of those challenges here in my writing. Well, to be honest I have actually, opened myself up and let everything out.  I was pretty overwhelmed with everything that was going on at first. I’m still a bit dazed by much of it but I decided the only thing I can do is put one foot in front of the other every step of the way with a smile and a positive attitude and know that I am doing the best that can be expected of me and by me. In the end I will know I faced it all with courage. I won’t have let any of those who look up to me down by giving in to the negative thoughts that can take hold if you let them and most of all I won’t have let myself down. I know that getting through what is still yet to come I will need that courage and the positive attitude. If I were telling one of my children how to do this I’d be saying, “You’ve got to have gumption.” Yep, it all can be summed up in one word. Gumption. Me…of course I’ve got it. Always have and always will.

A Little Less Zip Please

via Daily Prompt: Zip

In the springtime of yesteryear

many a day would zip right by

nearly everything was ecstatically good

I felt but for a pair of wings I could lift myself and  fly

Now and again one of those days would come

when everything was boring and slow, plainly just a drag

I’d be thinking to myself  this is  so extremely  dumb

how’d my life go from tremendous and cool to undeniably bad

But now that fall has come into my life

the day zips by before I’ve barely slipped from beneath my covers

it’s fair to say I’ve had a change of heart

and now I’m wishing for more  slow, boring days like those others

I no longer dream of being the best

achieving everything as great and before my brothers

and the things that used to be a drag

are now favorites amongst my druthers

Life As I Live It

A brief recap for those unaware of the situations in my life at the moment. I just posted, “Waiting” Waiting…and to read that post will answer any question you might have. I’ll try to do the thing about connecting this post to that one but I’m not sure I have any idea as to how to do it.

However, part of the wait is over. I got a call from the Neurosurgeon’s office today and I finally have a date.  I’m happy, although still very apprehensive, to say the surgery is scheduled for May 5. The surgery will be to put screws in four of the vertebra in my neck. Numbers  two, three, four, and five are quite severely effected, pinching my spine, irritating, rubbing and deteriorating  the sheath which should be surrounding it but is severely compromised at this time.   This has been going on for evidently a long period of time but despite my complaints to Dr’s along the way no effort has really been made to correct the situation. Actually, I knew I had degenerative disk disease but had no idea this was taking place in my neck and in my lower back. That will require another surgery down the road. I also had no idea that at some time in my life I had fractured my low back. I have had pain for as long as I can remember so guessing when that might have happened would be useless.  Add arthritis to what I have just explained and you have a pretty good picture of what has been going on.  Oh, no, wait, …I don’t believe I ever mentioned the fact that I also have Fibromyalgia.

I was going on with things doing most of my usual activities the best I could do them until I fell out in my yard late last September.  Who knew, what I thought to be a simple “Ooops, that was clumsy of me,” fall down pretty much on my face, and then up again without too much effort, would turn into the months of agony that I have gone through. Then, about a month later, I turned around while vacuuming to retrieve some cord, lost my balance and fell again. Just another “Oops,” but this one did require my husbands help in getting up. It was after this that my doctor decided things needed to be looked into. Two falls in a months time didn’t set well with him. Tests were begun and over the next couple of months I took two more falls. This was not a usual thing for me. At this time besides the surgery I have orders for an x-ray on my shoulder and my elbow due to the last fall at which time I also jarred something in my vision causing double and triple vision. I had to get new glasses with a prism in them to try to pull my sight back to normal. Now, like I was saying, simple falls, nothing to be alarmed about, or so I thought. I am now using a cane and sometimes a walker. I’m not allowed to do any vacuuming, reaching, lifting or walking in my yard. I don’t drive partly due to taking medications and partly because I don’t trust myself to be fully capable and aware.

I am not old. Never thought of myself as old and did fairly good at taking care of most things in my life including gardening, walking, playing with my dogs and grandkids, and doing all the household chores. Now, I can do very little.

I guess this is where I say to you, one reason for this detailed post on these injuries, is don’t ignore these kind of things if they start happening in your life as you move gracefully into your later years. Also, if you have a physician that does not take these complaints seriously, find a new one.

I honestly believed everyone had pain, lived with pain, dealt with it and that I was just being a whiner until today, when a friend told me she didn’t have any pain to deal with. I said, “You must have something, somewhere.” She replied with a definite , NO. That is really a concept  I find hard to believe.

Not as briefly as I had figured on, that is my update on life in general around here for me. Hopefully, by Monday, I will get an answer on the DNA results. I don’t know how I’m going to handle that one if it is a positive match. All I can do at this point is continued prayer and prepare for my upcoming procedure. One good note on this is that all my girls will be here for this.  I am thankful for that.

 

Note:  Well, how about that. Adding the “link” up above in my post worked. I guess you can learn something new everyday if you just give it a try.